Crime & Punishment

I may have stumbled on the perfect punishment for Sam.

Yesterday, he once again hit Zoë for some unknown reason. He always tries to tell me it was an accident, but 95% of the time, that's not the case. And I know it. So after yesterday's whacking, I sent him to his room because frankly, I was over-the-top frustrated with him. As I'm sure every parent can attest to, I have told him a thousand times "Don't hit your sister." And yet, he continues to do so.

I've tried talking to him about it, trying to teach him empathy: "How would you feel if Zoë hit you?"

I've tried sending him to his room, getting him away from her: "If you can't play nicely with your sister, go play by yourself."

I've tried making him sit in the naughty chair: "You need to sit there and think about what you did wrong."

I've even tried spanking him, although that feels a little hypocritical: "We don't hit!" Smack.

So yesterday I sent him to his room, then went in to talk to him, telling him how frustrated I was that I had to yet again remind him not to hit his sister. I asked him what I needed to do to make him remember, and would a spanking help? Well, duh. Of course not Mom.

Then it dawned on me.

"Sam, I know what your punishment will be. Follow me." A smirk may have snuck onto my face.

"What Momma?" he asked, rather nervously, as he followed me.

Out to the kitchen we went. I grabbed a pencil and paper and sat him at the counter.

And made him do this:

At first, he accepted the punishment and starting right in to writing. After about three sentences, he crumbled. And cried and wailed, head down on the counter, sobbing like I'd run over his puppy. I calmly explained that maybe writing "I will not hit my sister" ten times would help him remember to, you know, not hit his sister. And he was warned that the next time he hit Zoë, he would have to write 20 sentences.

When he was done, he hugged Zoë and apologized, and then came to me for a hug and some reassurance. I held him as he cried, because even though he occasionally whacks his little sister, he is a tender-hearted little boy who is trying so hard to grow up. And finding it quite painful at times.