Homeschoolin'

This is my second full year of homeschooling and I've noticed lately when I think or talk about it, it suddenly feels comfortable.  Very quietly, the feeling of being at peace, of knowing I'm doing the right thing, of feeling this is normal and not some temporary aberration, has stolen over me.  It's as much a part of our lives now as going to work or cooking dinner. I don't know if I'll ever feel like it's a cake walk, but I no longer feel any inner turmoil about whether I should be doing this or whether I'm doing enough.

At the start of the year, I was still in turmoil partially because I'd gotten Sam's MSP scores from the previous year.  And he didn't pass.  Not by much, but still.  And it bothered me.  As I'm sure many parents feel, when our kids fail at something we blame ourselves.  Yet at the same time I was berating myself for not doing a good enough job teaching him, the other side of my brain was suggesting that maybe Sam just didn't test well, that he hurried through it due to lack of interest, and that his teachers had no concerns whatsoever with where he was at.  All those thoughts were reinforced during my first meeting with his teacher in November.  Mr. N. said the exact same thing - kids are not test scores.  He reaffirmed what I already knew:  Sam is very bright, very quick and when he cooperates and is interested, he's a freaking wizard.

This year, Zoe started Kindergarten so I am schooling two instead of one.  She would probably do just fine in a traditional school setting, but then again, she's a little girl.  But I'm not having my kids on two different schedules, in two different schools.  And I'm certainly not sending her to the school that Sam went to.  I'm happy to report, she is doing splendidly here at home.  She's zooming through her work and making great progress.  She's a very eager learner (most of the time) and seems to be especially loving math right now.  I'm pretty sure she'll finish up the Kindergarten level work before the end of the year.

One of my biggest complaints about this whole endeavor is just not having enough TIME.  I work several evenings a week, so schoolwork has to be done before I leave.  And because I work several evenings a week, it doesn't leave me a whole lot of time to really plan.  I could spend several hours every Sunday evening getting our week planned out, researching things, printing out stuff, and hunting down fun games, projects, etc.  But I just don't have the TIME.  I mean, I could hole up in my office on the nights I'm home and completely neglect my family and house, but that wouldn't do anybody any good.  So for now, we piece it together day to day. 

This is how our day has looked today:  I woke up about 8:45am, the kids were already up watching cartoons.  I drank my coffee and woke up, they played and watched TV.  Then about 10:00am, I made them some breakfast and they got started on schoolwork.  Sam started with English, learning about singular and possessive plural nouns.  Zoe occupied herself with drawing in her journal.  They took a 15 minute break, then came back and worked on Math.  I went back and forth between them, providing direction and help as needed.  Then Zoe moved on to practicing her handwriting in a dry-erase book, while Sam did his reading comprehension exercise and his spelling practice.  Meanwhile, I puttered in the kitchen, making some homemade granola and cleaning up breakfast stuff.  Currently, they are playing in the living room, shooting each other with Nerf guns.  We'll call that PE.  While I'm in the shower, Sam will do his phonics work, a page from his Map Skills, a logic puzzle and possibly some writing.  Zoe will also do her phonics work and maybe a sequencing exercise.  (Yesterday we didn't get a lick of work done because I had a doctor's appt so we're doing a bit extra today.)  When I'm done in the shower, I'll have the kids clean their bathroom, and we'll call it a day since I have to head to work.

It's been a full day but pretty typical. 

Time Flies

Holy Crap!  It's 2011!  And I have a blog!  Where have I been?!!

Oh yah.  BUSY.

Anyway, the thought has been running through my mind more frequently that I should update this thing.  Not that anybody reads, but that's not really why I need to update it.  I want to record these moments in time so that I can look back and remember. 

So quick trip down recent memory lane...

Homeschooling:  Going WELL.  OMG, I am totally loving it (most days).  I alternately feel like I'm not doing enough for/with Sam and like I'm doing way better than the public school.  But reports from his teacher/counselor at school indicate that we're doing fine.  In his teacher's words he's BRIGHT, friendly, making friends, interacting and a real pleasure.  Active in the classroom but not naughty.  Such a different report and view than what we got from public school.  So.  I'm totally happy with that situation and looking forward to schooling Zoe next year too.  I love the little school we are part of and have made some great friends there.  I suspect we're never gonna want to leave it.

Running/Health:  I'm getting back into the swing of things, forcing myself to make time to run and get to the gym.  I'd like to do a 1/2 on Mothers' Day in preparation for the Seattle 1/2 in June.  I maintained my weight/size over the winter in spite of not exercising much or with any regularity and now I'm ready to ramp it back up.  I can tell I've lost muscle definition and I want it back.  I've had NO ITB pain.  We bought a 1/2 a beef this winter from J's uncle, so it was raised in a pasture and we know what it ate, and how it was treated and butchered.  It's damn good meat.  I've been really good with my diet (not "diet" as in losing weight, but as in the choices I'm making).  I'm eating a ton of vegetables and whole grain foods, although I'll admit an addiction to a particular brand of tortilla chips that I'm powerless to resist.  I maybe will have one drink every week or two, but otherwise am sticking to coffee and water.  LOTS of coffee.

Family:  Everyone's good.  We celebrated my dad's 70th birthday with a dinner out and a nice evening back at their house.  We're so blessed to still have him and he's doing great.  J hasn't been working much, which has been stressful, but at the moment he's got a little work.  I do alot of praying these days in regards to his employment.  I have moments of extreme terror knowing the possibilities that lurk just around the corner if work doesn't pick up.  Fortunately, he's branching his job search out instead of just focusing on electrical work.  And I do ALOT of praying.

Kids:  Zoe is Zoe.  She's silly, sweet, incredibly clever and funny, well-mannered, so loving and just a totally nice little girl.  She's my little shadow, preferring to spend her time with me to practically anything else.  She's lost the clinginess of her younger years, but now I think just loves to be with me.  There's not much I do that I don't have my helper with me, chores included.  She's loves school and is looking forward to kindergarten next year.  Sam is growing up, at 8.5 now.  In January I started taking him to a play therapist to see if it would help him sort out some of his frustrations and whatever else may be bugging him.  We have been INCREDIBLY pleased with this form of therapy, and it's been wildly successful for him.  The combination of homeschool and therapy have really been working wonders on him.  He's so much happier, content, affectionate and communicative.  There are still things we are working on (things I didn't even know were bugging him), but I totally believe he'll continue to improve and evolve into an incredible young man.  He's so intelligent and creative, curious and witty, and has such a sweet heart that I just watch him in awe and can't believe he's mine.  That boy is so special.

I still have too many books to read, too many projects I want to start/finish, too many races I want to run, and too many friends that I never get to spend time with.  It's still a crazy life.  And I still love it.

Catching My Breath

Happy November! Hard to believe that the holidays are just around the corner and that we’re nearing the end of 2010. The last couple months have FLOWN by. And by flown, I mean I barely remember any specifics of September and October save a haunting memory of frantic desperation and barely grasped control. In the words of a friend, “It’s all a shitty blur.”

However, I can confidently say that I am beginning to feel like I’m tentatively regaining control of my life again. I may completely jinx myself by saying as much, but I think things are starting to level out. Life is falling into a bit of a routine – albeit a completely crazy routine – but at least nothing is really popping up and scaring surprising me any more.  I feel like I'm finally catching my breath.

Deciding to homeschool Sam completely turned our lives upside down. It has required a whole new mindset and approach to our days and while early on it caused me a bit of anxiety and frustration, I know now that we absolutely, without a doubt, made the right decision. I don’t think we realized exactly how unhappy and miserable Sam was at his previous school. Yes, he cried and complained and begged not to go to school but aside from his vocal complaints, I don’t think we realized how connected his unhappiness and some of his behaviors were. I’d always maintained that school was killing his confidence but I had no idea how bad it was. Kind of like you have no idea how bad your eyes are until you get glasses and can see all you’ve been missing.

My little boy, who a few months ago was unwilling to try anything new, to accept a compliment, to verbalize happiness or satisfaction, whose automatic response to most everything was negative or derogatory, who would get so frustrated and upset that he’d clench his fists and shake and cry and say “I’m so stupid!”…well, that boy is gone.

In his place a sweet little boy has re-emerged. He is happy and silly. He is willing and almost eager to try new things, demonstrating the return of his confidence. He is cooperative and compliant when asked to do chores around the house. He is content and expressive of his happiness. He is compassionate and affectionate with us. He’s even showing signs of being self-motivated in his schoolwork.

I’ll tell you what. I will keep up this frenetic pace and selfless and incessantly hard work for the rest of my days if it means having that little boy happy again. I questioned myself so many times about whether I was making the right decision in regards to his schooling, whether I would do him more harm than good, whether I had it in me to do this thing, whether I could be that selfless. And I’ve learned that while I don’t have all the answers and that some days I fumble about trying to get it right, I do have the secret to making it all work: desire. I want this. I want to homeschool my kids. I want to see them happy and content and confident. I want them to see how important they are to me and that I will willingly will do whatever it takes to do what’s best for them. I want the crazy that goes with this life.

Because honestly? It’s crazy GOOD.

It'll Get Easier

I may have spoke too soon in my last post about crazy suiting me.

Holy schnikeys.

The crazy has gotten CRAZY. 

I'm not checking myself into a padded cell just yet, but I sure hope a month from now things have settled into some kind of routine.  Or even that I'll be used to this kind of crazy and it'll be the new normal. 

Because this is what my life looks like right now:

Mon/Wed/Fri - Zoe has preschool. Which means we need to be up, dressed, fed, washed and out the door by 9am.  And on at least a couple of those days, I have worked the night before and not gotten to sleep until around 12:30am.

Tue/Fri - Sam has school. Which means we need to be up, dressed, fed, washed, lunch & backpacked packed and out the door by 8:30am.  And on one of the days, I have worked the night before and not gotten to sleep until around 12:30am.

Mon/Wed/Thurs - Sam is home and we do homeschool.  Which means he whines, complains, cries, stomps and ignores me for a portion of the morning while I beg, plead, threaten, cajole and ignore him, trying to get him to do his work.

Mon/Wed - Both kids have swimming lessons right around dinner time in town.  I work one of the days which means Daddy has to get home from work, and turn around head to town to get them there on time. The other day means that I get to do the shuffle.

One week I work Mon/Tue/Fri, the next week I work Wed/Thurs, which means I have to leave home by about 2:20pm to get to work.  And since Hubby is working full-time right now (YAY!!!) and doesn't get home until 4-4:30pm, I have to get the kids over to my parents' or sister's house before leaving for work.

I am on the Newsletter Committee at work and am supposed to write the cover story this month, as well as gather other information for various features.

I am on the Practice Committee for my position at work and have to attend meetings in addition to my regular shifts as well as send updates to co-workers and write updates for the above mentioned newsletter.

Oh, and I'm also training for another half marathon which is in less than a month, which means that I should *technically* be running at least 3-4 times a week.  You know, in all my spare time.

Of course, there's all the fun housewifely stuff too.  You know, the laundry, the cleaning, the shopping, the bill paying, the cooking.

Don't get me wrong, I invited all this crazy into my life.  But boy, I didn't think it'd be like this.  I just keep telling myself that the schooling will settle into a routine and that soon I'll win the Lottery, quit my job and hire a maid and private tutor for the kids and that we'll all get adjusted to our new way of life. 

It'll get easier.  That's what I keep telling myself.

Life With a Side of Crazy

Boy, here we are.  Near the end of August.  I'm grabbing a minute to write because I know I won't have much of a chance for the next couple weeks.  The summer is wrapping up with a sprint to the finish.  Here are just the highlights:

~ My boy celebrated a birthday this last weekend.  For accomplishing the amazing feat of surviving for eight years in this family in this world, he was rewarded with copious amounts of Legos, Nerf guns and cash not to mention cake, ice cream sundaes and root beer floats.

~ My husband's 20th year high school class reunion was the same weekend.  For not having gone to the same school and only knowing a handful of folks who did, it was a pretty nice time.  Every one was very friendly and chatty and the food was good.  I was really hungry by the time the food was brought out and let's just say that if I'd been a heavier gal, folks would have been whispering about the amount of food and/or the number of trips I made to the buffet.  In my defense, I had run that morning and hadn't eaten much all day because of trying to get to the reunion on time.  So buffet time came, and I dove in.

~ We're approaching the start of our first year of truly homeschooling.  I was feeling a bit of anxiety about it, considering I had NOT spent the summer gathering curriculum as I intended, but then I ventured into a local store that is chock full of not only homeschool curriculum, but a plethora of teaching aids, workbooks, games, and classroom supplies (i.e. bulletin board stuff!!) and my fears dissolved.  I had to firmly steer myself away from the pretty bulletin board decorations and other classroom wall items into the homeschool section.  And I'm so glad I did.  Within an hour, I had chosen our curriculum for the year and breathed a sigh of relief that it included a Teacher's Manual.  Hallelujah!  I don't have to try to figure out how to explain what a conjunction is, or how to multiply fractions!  The book basically has a script for me!  Needless to say, I feel MUCH better about our upcoming school year.  Not only do I get to buy school supplies (times two actually - some for school, some for home) but I get to buy workbooks and flashcards and pretty things for our walls!  It'll be like playing school!  But for real.    {gulp}     Uh oh.

~Running is going well.  I've been out several times this last week but only for about 3 miles at a whack.  I need to start upping those distances considering the next 1/2 marathon is in about four 1/2 weeks.  I'm definitely not going to be trying to PR this one but I really want to do it.  So I will and we'll see what happens.  Overall, it just feels great to be back out running.  I'm hoping that once the school year starts, I can get back to some kind of regular routine instead of just trying to squeeze in a run when I can.

~ My daughter's 5th birthday is Labor Day weekend.  We're thinking of heading east to the rodeo and to see family.  Although I think if that happens we may come home with pink cowboy boots.  (No, they wouldn't be for me.  Mine would be RED.)

All in all, it's been a full and fun summer.  We've hung out with friends, met some new ones, carried on some traditions, discovered new places and events, and basically just grabbed hold of life and held on for dear life.   And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Crazy suits me.

Summertime

So, it's finally summer!  Or at least, some days it is.  Our weather has been so wierd this year but we're soaking up the sunshine when it's here!

We invested in a pool this year and got it set up, hoping that we'd have some heat to warm it up.  A couple days was all the kids could wait before they HAD to get in it.  They didn't stay in very long because it was COLD, but when the temperatures finally got about 70° it warmed up and they've been having a ball ever since.

Ahhh....how I love summer.

Schooling

It is 1:00pm on a Wednesday and I am *still* in my pajamas.  My house is a disaster, my children are *still* in their pajamas, there is laundry to do, I have a stack of books to read, we've not actually eaten a meal today - just snacked- and my legs need shaving.

This is what homeschooling has done to me. 

But truth be told, I think we're doing okay.  We're starting to see a bit of a routine emerge, we're figuring out what works and what doesn't, what we like and what we don't.  We love being able to go outside when the sun in shining and play a quick game of tetherball, or eating our lunch on the deck, or watching a tv program that relates to what we're studying.  I'm finding that everything throughout the day is a learning opportunity.  Going to the grocery store, picking out plants for our garden, planting seeds are all teachable moments.  I find that I'm very aware that I'm the teacher now and that I can use any situation or experience to impart some kind of knowledge. 

We've relocated my computer and desk upstairs to the bonus room so that we have more space.  Some of what we do requires the computer and my little office space just wasn't big enough to include a work area for Sam.  Now we have lots of room, with bright daylight and we can leave our mess spread out over various tables.  (This is SO much better than cluttering up my dining room table and island.) 

It's a new way of life - a new never-child-free way of life - but we're adjusting to it. It's not just me and my previous routine that have had to adjust; Sam is getting used to me being the teacher AND the momma.  We butt heads occasionally but I have the advantage of inflicting more meaningful punishment than his teacher at school (i.e. taking away video game or TV privileges), but I also love him unconditionally and I hope that that shines through.

Unrecognizable

Seriously, who slipped my life a hit of acid?  Because it has just gone wacky.  Every single item of whack could fill up its own blog post, and maybe eventually it will, but in summary here's what's been going on:

About 12 days ago, after about 18 hours of vomiting, diarrhea, fever and excruciating lower back pain, I made my husband take me to the Emergency Room.  You have to know this about me:  I WORK at the hospital and really make it a point to NOT go there unless I'm being paid to do so.  In this case, however, I was willing and even eager to give them whatever they wanted if only they would GIVE ME DRUGS.  Which, thankfully, they did and I was able to (mostly) stop tossing up everything I'd eaten in the previous month days and writhing in pain.  It's only been in the last 3-4 days that I've felt back to normal - I was *that* wrecked.

So needless to say, I've not been running or even setting foot near the gym.  That will be remedied this week.  My hiatus is over and I'm back on the wagon, so to speak.  Enough of living on buttery toast and whatever sounds least likely to cause pain (i.e. ice cream) and back to fruit smoothies and salad.  (Don't worry - I eat more than that.)

My fascination with all things food is reaching fever pitch.  After watching Food, Inc. a while back I've been hungry to learn more about what's really going on with America's food.  I'm currently reading Michael Pollan's book The Omnivore's Dilemma and boy howdy...is THAT an eye opener.  I dare you to read it and NOT have it change how you shop and eat.  I'm barely a quarter of the way through it and keep finding myself shaking my head in disgust and disbelief.  America, suffice it to say that the government is force feeding us CRAP.  You want to know why we're overweight and dying younger and younger?!  READ THE BOOK.  I am alternately outraged and acutely impassioned about this topic and if you get within earshot of me, you will likely hear me spew forth facts from the movie and/or book and my opinions and thoughts on the enormous injustice that is our food system.  (Truly, I am composing an entire essay in my head on this topic I am so on fire about it.  Right now, I am still in the outlining phase, but an essay will be forthcoming, mark my words.) 

And lastly, I have metaphorically donned my denim jumper and comfortable shoes, braided my hair, quit wearing makeup and have embraced HOMESCHOOLING.  If you know me IRL, you know this idea has been swirling around in my head for a couple years now.  Not because it was something I always wanted to do, but because after seeing Sam through kindergarten I suspected that maybe Sam + classroom would not entirely = success.  Long story short, my suspicions were indeed realized and then there was the lovely added benefit of a couple of little assholes in his classroom (and by assholes I mean children whose parents either were a) high on crack/drunk most of the time, b) wishing they'd used a condom, c) not interested in being a parent, or D) all of the above.)  Trust me, I do not fault the children - the blame lies solely with the sorry excuse for parents that procreated those kids.  But I am not obligated to subject MY child to those children and their foul mouths/crude & inappropriate behavior/delinquent tendencies just because we have the misfortune to reside in the same school district.  So, as of a week ago, Sam no longer goes to that school.  Or any school, for that matter.  (If you couldn't tell, this subject also fires me up a little.)  For the remainder of this year, we are homeschooling.  Next year, we are working on getting a plan in place that I think will make everyone happy and be the best for Sam, which is the whole point.

************************************

These days I barely recognize my life.  I mean, who am I?  I'm running, I'm homeschooling, I'm gettin' all earthy.  I feel like I'm a walking jumble of adjectives:  outraged, inspired, determined, searching, motivated, humbled, relieved, focused.  Evolving.  On the verge.  I feel like the things I'm going through right now are changing me - are changing who I am, how I think, how I act.   I can feel it physically, like growing pains. 

But I guess that's what's happening:  I'm growing a new life.

Catch Up

Well, I guess it's time for my monthly post.  Ha.  Seriously, where has the last month gone? 

In an effort to get ya'll caught up on my riveting life, I'm resorting to that format which allows me to hop gracefully from one nonrelated topic to the next without any kind of meaningful segway, our friend the BULLET.

• I am so excited to be able to report PROGRESS with my attempts at becoming a runner.  Just about 6 weeks ago, I ran an entire mile for the first time in I-don't-know-how-many-years.  It wasn't easy and I really couldn't imagine a time when I'd comfortably run that distance, much less further, but holy moly friends, I AM THERE.  This last weekend, I ran 4.54 miles only stopping twice for a brief minute to drink some water. And even though that is a HUGE accomplishment that I never thought I was capable of, I still have doubts about my ability to go further.  Like, I think I may have reached my max.  But I'll keep trying.
• A fabulous side effect of all this running and eating healthy is the physical changes I'm seeing. I took my measurements about 18 months ago when I started going to the gym and I recently came across those measurements.  I whipped out my measuring tape to see if there'd been any change, not really expecting any major changes, but I think I counted a total of about 9 inches that I've lost!  I'm totally digging the muscles that are popping out in my legs.  A downside is that not many of my pants (or bras) are fitting very well anymore.  Yah, I know...woe is me.  :)
• Work is still rather slow for Josh, although we're hopeful that things will pick up with spring & summer approaching.  He's also applying for other jobs with other companies, but of course, with the economy the way it is, positions are at a premium.  So for now, I do alot of praying and try to have faith that it will all be okay.  But boy am I tired of barely hanging on.
• There are potentially some big changes on the horizon for us as a family.  Sam has really been struggling in school the last few months.  Issues that we dealt with the last half of last year are resurfacing, as well as new ones.  Academically, he's fine.  He scores at or above grade level in everything, yet he hates school.  Most mornings are a fight to get him ready and out the door, often involving tears and such a level of frustration on his part that it breaks my heart.  He struggles to pay attention, he struggles to stay focused on work, he struggles to sit still, he struggles to ignore his classmates bad behavior and language. We've seen his confidence in himself and his abilities go down, we've seen his attitude change, we've heard him using language we don't use at home, we've seen him lash out in frustration.  This whole situation is KILLING me so much that it's no wonder I suspect I have an ulcer.  I hate, hate, HATE that my sweet boy is having such a hard time; a boy that is SO quick-minded, so naturally curious, so sensitive.  He is learning to hate school because of external influences and expectations and I'm not sure we can allow that to happen much longer. 
• Yes, I think I have an ulcer.  I have a constant, gnawing pain in my stomach, which occasionally gives me chest pain. I feel hungry, bloated, and achy most of the time, yet when I eat it doesn't help.  I don't have much of an appetite and I'm constantly burping.  Pleasant, huh?  I had an ulcer back when I was 25 and remember feeling much the same way.  It was diagnosed with a blood test and I ended up taking 18 pills a day for two weeks. So I need to have that blood test again.  Which means I need to go to the doctor.  Which I hate doing. 
• I'm doing my very first 5k run in April.  It seems a little backwards to finally get around to doing a 5k considering I've completed two half marathons, but I WALKED those and intend on RUNNING this 5k.  So maybe it's not backwards at all.  I'm just starting out as a runner, so I guess a 5k is a good place to start.  And it's for a great cause:  the proceeds benefit the Behind the Badge Foundation, an organization that supports law enforcement and their families. 

Well, I guess that about sums it up.  Life is very full and busy these days, and probably will get more so with some upcoming changes, but what's a girl to do?

Bullets

Instead of trying to write an actual blog post, I'm gonna go ahead and use those wonderful little formatting wonders knowns as bullets to try to touch on some of the highlights of recent weeks months.

• I completed my 2nd half marathon on September 27 in 3:05.  This was 15 minutes faster than my first half marathon time.  I was shocked to discover around mile 9 that I could possibly break the three hour mark.  Still didn't quite make it, but I was extremely happy with that time. I ran more of this race, hurt more during it, and recovered faster after it.  Ironic considering I trained less.
• After volunteering in my daughter's preschool class, I started having second thoughts as to her attendance. I was afraid that she wasn't getting anything educational out of it and that I instead was just paying for playtime for her. Now that a few more weeks have gone by, I see that there is some actual learning starting to happen.  And I also have figured out that this first year of preschool is really about getting used to the classroom, learning how to interact with others and listen to the teacher.  The book learning will come.
• My son is doing wonderfully in school, which makes me SO happy.  The last half of last year was such a struggle for us both that it is such a relief to have him look forward to school now, and to be so positive about it. 
• I joined the YMCA this month. My hope is to maintain a level of fitness through the winter and emerge in the spring ready to take on the next challenge.  I want to improve cardiovascularly, gain some muscle and definition, and firm things up.  40 is just around the corner.
• I have unearthed a few of my craft boxes and boy howdy, do I have some projects to finish!  I've also got a lot I want to start but I'm trying to restrain myself.
• I have 16 books beside my bed that I am waiting to read, and three new cookbooks on my desk to peruse.  Hello, my name is Kate and I am a book addict.  Nice to meet you.
• I started a book club at my work.  Somehow I and another co-worker are spearheading the thing and I need to set up our first meeting asap.  We are reading Ahab's Wife, or The Star Gazer by Sena Jeter Naslund.  It's a good story.
• I am hosting Thanksgiving dinner at my house for both my family and my husband's family. To date, we have 22 people who will be attending, including us. I don't own that many forks.  That is a problem.
• **WARNING** Female subject ahead - please skip if you are male, related to me, and/or are uncomfortable hearing about my anatomy.
• I had an IUD put in last November. I had it taken out in October.  It was making me cranky, irritable, mean, crazy, bloated, irrational and sad. Also, my hair was falling out and I had the skin of a hormonal teenager. I feel much better now.
• Ok, it's safe to read again.
• I went to Eastern WA a few weeks ago to visit friends and we canned 90 quarts of applesauce and juice in a day.  Now I fancy myself a pioneer woman and am intent on "putting up" as much of anything and everything I can.  I have roasted and pureed pumpkin, which is now in my freezer in handy one cup servings.  Next up:  apple pie filling, Oktoberfest beer mustard, and marinara sauce.  Hello, my name is Kate and I am a food hoarder. Or part squirrel. Or secretly Amish.
• While out with my daughter the other day, she looked up at me and said "Mommy, my heart hurts of love."
• I know what she means.

May I See Your License?

Today I went on a field trip with Sam's 2nd grade class.  They've been studying wetlands in science class so they loaded all the 2nd graders up and hauled them to a nearby lake, which is surrounded by wetlands.  It was a fun and interesting day, with beautiful weather, and even the parents learned a few things. 

Next to the lake area is a park where our half of the group spent the morning, seeing the farm animals, running around and having lunch while the other group toured the wetlands.  There is a nice trail that connects the two areas that is probably 1/4 mile or so.  On the way back over to the lake for our turn, Sam and a classmate were lagging way behind the rest of the group.  I encouraged him to catch up, but he complained that he was tiiiirrred and couldn't go any faster.

I joked with him that if he was gonna run out of energy so quickly they were going to revoke his kid license and make him be an adult.

"But Mom," he replied matter of factly, "I don't have a kid license.  All I have is a library card and two tickets to the Fair!"

The Tooth Fairy Comes Tonight

Sam just turned 7 years old a week or so ago and he still hasn't lost a tooth. Of course, he was late getting them, not having a tooth break thru until he was 10 months old. So I figured he'd be late to lose them as well.

The last couple days he's been complaining that one of his front top teeth was hurting. It wasn't wiggly and when I looked at it, it was brown underneath and on the back side of it. I thought maybe it was a cavity and made myself a mental note to call the dentist to make an appointment.

Well, this morning at 9:30am the phone rings and it's Sam, calling from school. "My tooth hurts," he said and when I asked him what I could do to help him, he said "Come get me." I knew that if he was calling me it must have been hurting pretty bad. So I quickly got dressed and called the dentist before leaving home, explaining the situation and asking if there was any way Dr. Mary could see him. They said to bring him in and they would squeeze him in. So I picked him up and we headed in.

Upon arrival they did an x-ray and checked it out. The dental tech said it didn't look like a cavity and after the Dr. saw it, she said they wanted to pull it. Which is what I was afraid of. But apparently Sam wasn't afraid of it because he came bounding out saying "Mom! They're gonna pull my tooth!"

Unfortunately, they wouldn't let me go back with him because it was technically their surgery day and parents aren't allowed back. But I could see him through the reception window and from the looks of it, they were having a party! The Dr. and tech were cracking up and they were all laughing and gesturing wildly, having a great time. And the next thing you know, they sit Sam up and show him his tooth that had been detached from his face. Dr. Mary said it was most likely some kind of trauma that caused it, which I am perplexed by. Except for the time Sam was about 3.5 and hit his mouth on my parents' coffee table and knocked a front tooth loose (which completely resolved and was fine). But could this really have been the cause of today's pain? Who knows.

All I know is that the Tooth Fairy is finally coming to our house tonight. And my boy now looks like this:

Fishing

We live in an area of the Pacific NW where the salmon run up our rivers, back to their spawning grounds. The pink salmon, or "humpies", run every other year and in recent years the run hasn't been very good for various reasons. We've been anxiously awaiting this season and have had our fingers crossed that we'd actually catch some fish this year.

Opening Day was August 16th. My dad, Hubby, Sam and I headed out early that morning, down to the river. It was Sam's first real fishing expedition and I worried how he would cope with being cooped up on a 16' boat all day, especially if the fishing was slow.

Turns out we didn't need to worry. The fishing was decent and in between the catching, Sam munched away on potato chips and played Yahtzee on my phone. Only once did he fuss and ask to go home and that was when a bee was buzzing around his head. (He's been afraid of bees ever since he got stung on the end of the nose.)

Sam, reeling in a fish.

Sam's first salmon

I caught the biggest one that day, and boy was it fun! I could tell I had a bigger fish on by the way he fought. They're fiesty little critters! But I guess if I had a hook through my lip, I'd fight to get away too!

Me & my Dad

We managed to land 12 fish that day and went home happy and tired and satisfied with a good day's fishing.

Beginnings

Tomorrow Sam heads back to school as a 2nd grader. Today we went and met his teacher (turns out he'll actually have two - more on that in a minute) and saw his new classroom. It was so sweet to see him greet and hug various teachers, all while grinning madly. I think he's more excited to return to school then he's letting on. And I'm so glad we won't be going thru any of the drama we went through last year with switching schools.

If I've not mentioned it before, the elementary school he goes to is pretty small. There are only 1.5 second grade classes, the .5 being a split 2nd/3rd grade class. He's in the 2nd grade room, sharing it with 23 other students. His teacher, Mrs. S., explained that because there were so many kids that he and several other students would be going over to Mrs. T's room in the afternoon for math and science. They will be joined by the 2nd graders from the split class. Other than the obvious benefit of being able to work with & teach a smaller class more effectively, Sam will have the advantage of knowing ALL of the 2nd graders since he'll spend the first half of the day with one class and the last half with the others. I think he'll enjoy that.

I think it's going to be a good year for him. I liked his primary teacher, Mrs. S.; she's young and has a child of her own, which I think lends another level of patience and understanding to a teacher. His math/science teacher is an older lady that has been teaching for years and seems very kind and calm. Lord knows she's gonna need with it a herd of 2nd graders!

All in all, I'm in a MUCH better frame of mind about the start of this school year than I was last year. Man, but I sure struggled with it last year. While I'm still going to miss my boy, I'm excited to see what the year brings. I plan on helping in his classroom as much as I can, joining his for lunch during the week, and going on field trips of course. I'm glad that he'll be back with his friends, continuing his friendships, and working on his tetherball skills. I think he'll be happy and that makes me happy.

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My Zoë-girl starts off on her educational adventure next week, when she joins the preschool crowd. She'll be going two mornings a week and, while she's excited about it now, we'll see how she reacts when Momma walks out the door. I hope that she'll be fine and can just embrace it and have a great time. Stay tuned.
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Since everyone is going back to school and getting new school clothes and pencils, I wanted to join in the fun. I'm working on getting enrolled in the local community college and am going to tiptoe back into the classroom (online) and start working towards a degree. I think I've finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up.

It's only taken 38 years and a couple kids to show me that I really just want to play with school supplies and kids all day. So, I think I'm going to pursue a degree in elementary education in hopes of being a teacher. I mean, what better schedule to have when you have kids yourself? My kids are just starting off in their education and considering that I actually really LIKE my kids and WANT to be part of their lives, I can't think of a better job to have than one that gives me weekends, holidays and summers off with them.

I know it's going to be challenging at times; I work almost full-time, have two small kids and a husband, a house on 5 acres, I keep signing up for half marathons which require some training, I have friends I like to see and hobbies I like to pursue, plus I'm trying to go back to school.

It's never going to get any easier. And if I don't start, I'll never finish.

Dog Days of Summer

Ouch. A month has slipped by with no new post from me! Well, it's summer, don'tcha know, and summer = BUSY. So here's a bit of what we've been up to...

We picked strawberries:


We've been playing in the water:
And relaxing in the shade:


We celebrated my birthday: And then there's this girl:
Who we already adore... And who is enjoying her new life with us...

So far, it's been a fun-filled, jam-packed summer and it ain't over yet!

Teach a Boy to Fish...

It's Wordless Wednesday!

The Week in Review

Boy, it's been a busy week. It seems like as the days get longer and the weather warmer, life really starts to pick up speed. But it's all good! That's the way I like it.

Here's a quick recap of what we've been up to:

~Last Wednesday Sam's class had a field trip to the local fairgrounds for the Milk Makers Festival, or whatever it's called. In our county, we are surrounded by dairy farms so it was a chance for the kids to learn all about the dairy industry. Apparently the field trip is a yearly event for all the 1st graders around here. It was very well organized, with six different stations where they learned about different aspects of the dairy industry. They even were treated to some chocolate milk. Zoë and I tagged along for the fun and had a great time. I wanted to put this little girl in my purse and bring her home.




~Wednesday evening The Hubby and I went on a date. We had gotten some tickets for a concert thru the college alumni association and figured we'd take advantage. Death Cab for Cutie had come home to do a concert and let me tell ya, for a band I wasn't that familiar with, they were awesome. They killed it. It was a lot of fun and we're definitely big fans now. So cool to see hometown boys gone big. (Sorry for the crappy pictures...used my phone.)



~Thursday was the last class for swimming lessons (of this session) and Heather and I had planned to stay after class and let the kids play in the pool during the Free Swim. Only I'm apparently a big clueless dork of a parent and didn't know/realize that kids under 6 must be accompanied by an adult. So guess who didn't have a swimsuit and couldn't get in the pool?? Thankfully, Heather donned her's and went in with the girls. Next time I'll be more prepared. (Note to self: buy a swimsuit. Oh,and work out.)

They opened up the waterslide during the Free Swim and Sam immediately scrambled up the stairs to give it a try. I was shocked (and proud) at how UNreluctant he was to try it. He's definitely a boy after my own heart. You can see in the picture exactly how fast he came shooting out of this thing! He was like a little blurry water missle! But he never flinched and came out all smiles and saying "That was AWESOME Mom!!" and went right back up. He went up those stairs so many times he ended up with a blister on his toes.


~Friday Sam's class was doing a presentation for the school assembly so Zoë and I attended that in the afternoon. They've been studying the life cycle of a butterfly and did a presentation about that. I know I'm his mother and all, but he spoke the clearest and loudest of all the kids and sounded the most natural. You know how kids get when you put them on stage with a microphone and an audience? I was one of those kids when I was little but not my Sam. I was so proud.



He was all smiles after school as we headed off into the weekend.

~Saturday morning we headed out to our old neighborhood for the annual pancake feed at the fire station. For $12 the whole family filled their bellies and then we checked out the fire trucks.


~Sunday morning we cleaned the house, since it was getting a little disgusting then Josh headed over to help my dad do some electrical work at their new house. It was sunny but a little breezy but we tried out best to soak up the rays. In the evening, the wind died down so after dinner we headed out on a walk.

And met some new friends along the way....

And at the end of the walk, we came home to our own little piece of heaven.

For reference sake, here's a picture of both our house and my parents' new place.

I'm done now. Whew! Happy Monday!

Sunshine on Shoulders Makes Me Happy

If you haven't noticed, I haven't been blogging much lately. Several factors are contributing to my writing delinquency. First, I just haven't been very inspired lately. Second, I've been trying to not be on the computer as much, especially in the evenings, in an effort to spend more time with the fam. Thirdly, the weather keeps trying to get warmer which then translates to me becoming less slothful.

Today is one of those days, where the sun is trying valiantly to raise the temperature above the 60° mark. I'd optimistically purchased some flowers and potting soil the other day so this morning the kids and I got those situated in their pots. Then my dad was over working at his house so I wandered over to see what he was up to. The kids soon followed and in their meanderings, they discovered a whole patch of "flowers" (aka dandelions).

Since I had my camera, I then wandered around taking pictures, playing with the aperture and such. There's a new lens that I'm really coveting but for now I'm making do with what I have.

It was so refreshing to be outside, the warmth of the sun on my back, dirt on my hands, listening to the birds. It's been a long, long winter and we're more than ready for a deep breath of Spring.

Motherhood

There's another meme roaring around the blogosphere and, even though I wasn't officially tagged to do it, I'm doin' it. Because it's a topic near and dear to my heart: being a mom.

The question is "What five things do you love about being a mom?"

Boy, that is a dangerous question. Dangerous because, depending on the day, it could launch me into an absolute mushy, teary confession about how much I love it, how it's changed me, how I neverwantodoanythingelse, IlovebeingamomSOSOmuch... OR I could be hard pressed think of two things that I love about being a mom, much less five. Just depends on the day. Or the hour, for that matter.

Anyway, today I'm having an "I love being a mom" day so it's pretty easy to come up with five things. Here they are:

1. Like Ms. Secret Agent Josephine, I love being the one to comfort my kids. When I was a babysitter and even later after becoming an aunt, when the kids were hurt or sick they wanted their mommas. Regardless of how close or loved I was, they turned to their moms for comfort and I always felt a little sad and left out by that. Not that it wasn't the right response for them to have, but it just made me a little sad.

I love that my kids turn to me with their tears and scrapes and sadnesses and know that they'll find sympathy and comfort in my arms. Sadly enough, I don't have any memories of my mom being that for me. Maybe she was, I don't know. But I have no memory of it or of even feeling that she was. I want to make sure that my kids know that I will always be there for them, to kiss a booboo, to wipe a tear, to listen to the injustices of their lives.

2. I love it when my kids display their softer, sensitive sides. It's probably selfish but it gives me a great sense of satisfaction and pride to see them behaving kindly, or unselfishly. It makes me feel like I'm doing an okay job.

When Sam was a baby, less than a year old, when I'd pick him up, he'd snuggle into my shoulder and pat me on the back. I mentioned it to a co-worker, saying how cute I thought it was and she remarked that he did it because I did it to him. He was mirroring the love and comfort I gave him. It was one of my first affirmations as a mother and I've never forgotten it. Now my son will bring me coffee in bed in the morning and kiss me tenderly to wake me up because he knows I'm not a morning person and I need my coffee. My daughter treats her baby dolls so lovingly that it brings tears to my eyes. She dresses them, feeds them, tucks them into bed and reads them a bedtime story before kissing them goodnight. I marvel at it, feeling a sense of pride because, even though at times I feel like I should start saving now for the therapy my kids will surely need, I know that her loving behavior is learned and it has been demonstrated to her in her own life. And that makes me really happy and reassured.

3. I love staying home with my kids. Even though being a mom is way harder than any job I've ever had (see also: relentless, tiring, annoying, thankless, and at times downright disgusting), I truly can't think of anything I'd rather be doing. Yes, sometimes I'd like to call in sick or take a day off, but there really isn't anything else I feel as compelled to do with my life. I feel so incredibly blessed that I've been home with my kids since they were born, raised them myself and been there for all the firsts. I've never gotten as much satisfaction from any job I've had as I have from being a mom.

4. I love creating traditions with my kids. A few examples: decorating gingerbread houses at Christmastime, treasure hunts for their Easter baskets with rhyming clues leading them from one spot to the next, going out to breakfast on the first day of summer vacation, homemade cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning, homemade and hand-decorated birthday cakes. I know more traditions will evolve and become part of our family story over the years but already the kids are starting to have memories of these things. I love giving them happy memories to look back on.


5. I love loving my kids. This probably sounds silly but loving my kids just feels so good. Mother love is a different kind of love, different than any other. It's the warmest, fuzziest, most consuming love. It's invigorating, hypnotic, euphoric, and blinding all at the same time. It's drenched in bittersweetness and soaked with sentimentality. It produces physical pain as the heart nearly bursts with pride and contracts with mind-numbing fear. This love rises up, ready to attack and defend, when a threat looms. This love is something I was completely unprepared for. It has stretched me, redefined me. And I know I am better because of it.

Brighter Days Ahead

Yep, that's me. Although I don't look nearly as cute as this little guy. I am feeling pretty tired though.

But next week, I'm on Spring Break! After Monday I'm going to enjoy my days off and not work any extra, and I am going to play and enjoy my son's Spring Break. We've got some plans and are leaving the rest up in the air, hoping that the weather will cooperate and we can GET OUTSIDE. So I should have some fun blog fodder for posting, a nice change from my recent whining and complaining. I need to reclaim the positive and happy in my life and I'm going to make every effort to do so in the coming days.

We had a little scare last week where Zoë almost drowned at her very first swimming lesson. Long story short, the teacher had her back turned, there was no lifeguard on the deck watching the classes, she lost her footing and couldn't get herself righted and she ended up floating face down. Josh had to jump in the pool to get her. She was fine but we took her to the ER to get checked out, just in case, and she has since returned to her lessons, albeit under our even more watchful eyes. The staff and management at the the pool are also on high alert after I called and raised holy hell about the incident, which the manager had never been told of. I debated about letting her go back to this particular pool but decided that since she wasn't traumatized, and the teacher would be watching her extra carefully now, that I should let her go back. Sam is in lessons there too and loving it so I don't want to punish him by yanking him out. I can't say I'll send them back there, though, after this session is over.

Anyway, we're all good and healthy and got outside today to enjoy the bright sunshine that we were graced with. Josh and I shoveled some dirt and gravel, relocating it around the yard and the kids happily played in the dirt and rode their bikes. Sam and I ended up playing some whiffleball in the driveway for a bit and then we all went inside with rosy cheeks and growling tummies. It was a really nice morning and made me yearn, even more so, for the warmer days ahead.