Going Paleo

In an attempt to get the most out of myself, my workouts and my life, I've made a change.  I've been harboring a secret fascination with the Paleo diet for awhile now. Other bloggers that I've followed have had awesome results and loudly proclaim the virtues of this way of eating.  So, in the last week or so, I've done a ton of reading about it and, to be honest, it makes sense to me.

I was trying to work up the courage to plead my case to Hubby in hopes that he would join me in this new venture, but turns out I didn't have to.  He heard me talking to his dad about it and said "Let's do it!".  So, over the last day or so we've been trying to ease into the Paleo way of eating.  We're going to give it a serious try for about 30 days and see how we feel.

Yesterday was only partially Paleo for me.  I went out shopping, to get stocked up on things we needed, and got SERIOUSLY hungry.  Like, I was gonna hurl shortly if some kind of grub didn't get in the tank.  Unfortunately, we were at Costco and I couldn't stomach the thought of either a hot dog or pizza (although they DID sound good).  So I got the new turkey & provolone toasted sandwich and ate about half of it.

One exception I am making on this plan is that I will continue drinking my morning coffee with cream and sugar.  I'll cut dairy and sugar and grains out of the rest of my day, but there's no way in hell I am giving up my morning coffee.  And trust me, you don't want me to.  This cavegirl would be VERY, VERY cranky if she had to give up her morning brew.

So.

To chronicle this, I'm going to try to keep a daily log of what I eat, maybe even a few photographs and recipes too.  I also want to take Before & After photos of Hubby and I, just for our own viewing (unless of course I suddenly turn into a supermodel), but it'll be a good visual of any progress we make.  I will continue working out along the way.  Hubby is doing it mostly for the weight loss and I'm just trying to see if I can shed this layer of "fluff" that is padding my tightening muscles.  And I'm just really curious about what results I'll see.

Day 1 (so far):

Morning Eats:
2 cups of coffee w/ cream & a little sugar (I did cut it back a bit)
1 glass of Odwalla Superfood
1 cup of Vanilla Almond Milk (sweetened...it's what I had open and I didn't win the lottery so I can't afford to throw away food at this point)
1 Gala apple w/ almond butter
This yummy breakfast bread, which will be a staple.  I didn't use the Stevia as I don't have any.

Lunch Eats:
Scrambled egg with antelope sausage and onions

I'm headed off to work now and have packed myself a big salad full of veggies, a few slivered almonds and dried cranberries.  I'll bring along some snacks because I know I'll be hungry.  I haven't had nearly enough protein today, but I got busy.  We'll work on coming up with a meal plan for the week maybe tomorrow, because I can already tell that lack of planning will be our downfall. Eating this way requires preparation and planning.  Otherwise it'll be way too easy to grab something unhealthy.

Spring Fever

Aside from being desperate for warmer temperatures and drier days, I *really* need some better weather.  I am positively twitching in my yearning to get outside and run.  I've been doing all my runs and workouts at the gym which is lovely in that I have that option, but for some reason this year running on the treadmill for longer than about 30 minutes makes me very stabby. 

Last year when I was just starting to run, I'd slog through 60-75 minutes on the treadmill, gasping for breath and mentally willing my legs to keep turning over.  Whether it's a sign of progress in my ability or a decline in my level of patience, I don't know, but I just can't handle the treadmill for very long anymore.  Which means I'm not getting as many miles as I'd like in.  I've been bailing off the treadmill and switching to the elliptical after a few miles and that has helped.  I really do love the elliptical and try to tell myself that at least it's a similar motion to running and better than doing nothing.

I should point out that I'm kind of a big wimp when it comes to running in less-than-decent weather.  I don't readily head out in the pouring rain to run, or if there's wind, or if it's too cold.  (Ironic since I'll plow through mud and awful terrain and whatever weather there happens to be on a race day.)  There have been several days when I totally could have run, probably rather comfortably, if I'd just sucked it up and gone.  

I'm getting to the point though that I *really* want and need to be doing longer runs.  I'm dying to get out and RUN.  I miss running on the trails and roads around here.  

And my list of To-Do races is growing at an alarming rate.   So far I have a 5K in both April and May, a 1/2 marathon in May, a mud run and 1/2 marathon in June and a 15k and a 1/2 marathon in September.  Haven't lined anything up for July or August yet.  Those are busy months to begin with but I'm sure I'll find something.  I know there are races around here during those months, I just haven't nailed down the dates yet.   But you can be sure I will!

*************************

In the March Runner's World magazine, there are a bunch of quotes from Dean Karnazes. My favorite was his response when asked "Doesn't running hurt?"  His reply?  "It does if you're doing it right." 

Gettin' Down & Dirty

Last fall my running pal, Heather, and I drug our men to a little event called The Warrior Dash.  We had all kinds of dirty fun and left feeling really badass.

This year those crazy lovebirds are already signed up to do it again, this time in our home state, but I waited too long to decide and now it's full on the day they're doing it.  I procrastinated because the race is the weekend after my 40th birthday and I am thinking about throwing myself a birthday bash that weekend.  And since the race is a couple hours away from home, I wasn't sure it would work.  So basically the fates decided for me.

This year, via the ol' Facebook, I learned of a different dirty race.  And since my mud buddies are already signed up for it, there was no way I was gonna miss out.  This one is the Survivor Mud Run and it is the weekend before the Seattle Rock 'n Roll 1/2 marathon.  Unfortunately, there is no fire to jump over at this race, but there appears to be a heckuva lot more mud.

Can I tell you how much I love that since mentioning this on Facebook I've had multiple friends grab me and say "I wanna do that mud race!  Can I come too??"   Seriously, I have the raddest friends.  And we're all gonna get down and dirty together.

Food is My Friend

So yet again, concern has been raised about whether I'm eating enough.  Let me say right off the bat - I EAT ENOUGH.  Food is my friend.  Yes, there are days I get so busy that I forget to eat three actual meals, but I'm not starving myself and trust me, when I forget to eat and I am suddenly reminded of that fact by my stomach gnawing on my backbone, I start stuffing whatever is closest into my pie-hole regardless of its nutritional value.   But when I have the time (which is almost always), I eat a healthy and balanced diet.

Lately I have been salad crazed.  I recently discovered that, unbeknownst to me, I actually DO like spinach - baby spinach, that is.  Here I've lived almost 40 years believing that I didn't like spinach when lo and behold, I DO.  'Tis nummy.  And this discovery I believe has re-fueled my salad-crazedness.  (Is too a word.)   I have been inhaling a large bowl of salad almost every night for dinner, especially at work.  Like, such a big bowl it would normally serve a family of four.

Today I went for a nice run at the gym and came home hungry so I built myself the following masterpiece:

Ingredients as follows:

2 handfuls of organic baby lettuce
1 handful of organic baby spinach
1/3 cup (or so) of shredded carrots
Almost half a red bell pepper, diced
Half an avocado
1/4 of an English cucumber
1/4 cup of crumbled blue cheese
About 2 Tbsp of dried cranberries
About 1/4 cup unsalted toasted almond slices

Dressing:  1 tsp dijon mustard, 1 1/2 Tbsp muscat orange champagne vinegar, 1 1/2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil, fresh ground pepper.

According to this site the total calories in this salad were 809 calories.  That's a little on the high side for a bowl of rabbit food, but take into account the high fat content of the avocado, nuts, blue cheese and olive oil.  Now, except for the blue cheese, all those things are high in GOOD FATS.  So frankly, I consider this salad a success.  And having had my lipids all checked last week and finding out they are AWESOME, I'm not real concerned.

As I get to where I'm doing longer runs and more training, I am VERY aware of how much I eat.  Not just because I'm hungry all the time, but because I make sure to give myself enough of what I need.  At almost 5'9" and around 130 lbs, I know I don't have a lot of wiggle room for weight loss.  That's never been my goal.  I use an online site to track my daily calories, adding back in those I've burned on workouts.  I eat even when I'm not hungry.  I eat when I get home from work at midnight if I haven't had enough calories during the day or if I'm just plain hungry, even though that goes again everything we've ever heard ("Don't eat after 7pm").

I know I'm questioned and criticized out of concern (mostly) but it frustrates me that when you are thin, the world thinks it's okay to share their opinions about your body, something most people would never do to someone on the other end of the spectrum.  I mean seriously, would you ever say to an overweight person "I'm just really worried that you're eating too much.  Maybe you should lay off."  I'm much happier with the body I have now then when I weighed the same but was three sizes bigger.  I obviously had some extra padding if, when getting serious about exercise and diet, it melted away. 

I'm hurtling toward my 40th birthday and I'm actually excited about it, to be honest.  I'm proud to be heading into a new decade of my life, being fit and feeling fierce.

Bring it on.

Time Flies

Holy Crap!  It's 2011!  And I have a blog!  Where have I been?!!

Oh yah.  BUSY.

Anyway, the thought has been running through my mind more frequently that I should update this thing.  Not that anybody reads, but that's not really why I need to update it.  I want to record these moments in time so that I can look back and remember. 

So quick trip down recent memory lane...

Homeschooling:  Going WELL.  OMG, I am totally loving it (most days).  I alternately feel like I'm not doing enough for/with Sam and like I'm doing way better than the public school.  But reports from his teacher/counselor at school indicate that we're doing fine.  In his teacher's words he's BRIGHT, friendly, making friends, interacting and a real pleasure.  Active in the classroom but not naughty.  Such a different report and view than what we got from public school.  So.  I'm totally happy with that situation and looking forward to schooling Zoe next year too.  I love the little school we are part of and have made some great friends there.  I suspect we're never gonna want to leave it.

Running/Health:  I'm getting back into the swing of things, forcing myself to make time to run and get to the gym.  I'd like to do a 1/2 on Mothers' Day in preparation for the Seattle 1/2 in June.  I maintained my weight/size over the winter in spite of not exercising much or with any regularity and now I'm ready to ramp it back up.  I can tell I've lost muscle definition and I want it back.  I've had NO ITB pain.  We bought a 1/2 a beef this winter from J's uncle, so it was raised in a pasture and we know what it ate, and how it was treated and butchered.  It's damn good meat.  I've been really good with my diet (not "diet" as in losing weight, but as in the choices I'm making).  I'm eating a ton of vegetables and whole grain foods, although I'll admit an addiction to a particular brand of tortilla chips that I'm powerless to resist.  I maybe will have one drink every week or two, but otherwise am sticking to coffee and water.  LOTS of coffee.

Family:  Everyone's good.  We celebrated my dad's 70th birthday with a dinner out and a nice evening back at their house.  We're so blessed to still have him and he's doing great.  J hasn't been working much, which has been stressful, but at the moment he's got a little work.  I do alot of praying these days in regards to his employment.  I have moments of extreme terror knowing the possibilities that lurk just around the corner if work doesn't pick up.  Fortunately, he's branching his job search out instead of just focusing on electrical work.  And I do ALOT of praying.

Kids:  Zoe is Zoe.  She's silly, sweet, incredibly clever and funny, well-mannered, so loving and just a totally nice little girl.  She's my little shadow, preferring to spend her time with me to practically anything else.  She's lost the clinginess of her younger years, but now I think just loves to be with me.  There's not much I do that I don't have my helper with me, chores included.  She's loves school and is looking forward to kindergarten next year.  Sam is growing up, at 8.5 now.  In January I started taking him to a play therapist to see if it would help him sort out some of his frustrations and whatever else may be bugging him.  We have been INCREDIBLY pleased with this form of therapy, and it's been wildly successful for him.  The combination of homeschool and therapy have really been working wonders on him.  He's so much happier, content, affectionate and communicative.  There are still things we are working on (things I didn't even know were bugging him), but I totally believe he'll continue to improve and evolve into an incredible young man.  He's so intelligent and creative, curious and witty, and has such a sweet heart that I just watch him in awe and can't believe he's mine.  That boy is so special.

I still have too many books to read, too many projects I want to start/finish, too many races I want to run, and too many friends that I never get to spend time with.  It's still a crazy life.  And I still love it.

Thinking Outloud

I'm supposed to be training for another half marathon, which is in two weeks.  And I've run precisely ONCE in the last week.  Hmmm. 

Currently I'm in mental discussions with myself about whether I should even try to do it.  1. Some friends from work are going and I'd love to go hang out with them and do this.  It'd be a little kid-free break with girlfriends and that alone is very enticing.  2. My goal for the year was to do 2-4 races and I've only done one.  3. There's no rule that says I have to run the whole thing. Obviously. But I know myself and I'm afraid that once I get out there my competitive spirit will kick in and I'll push myself.  4. The date of the race is 10/10/10 and that's just cool. I want a shirt with that date on it. 

I should be able to get a few runs in in the next couple weeks. I was able to change my schedule at work so that I work the same days each week, which will help tremendously with all that's going on in my life.  Or at least I hope it will.

I need to just go do this race. I want to.  The company alone will make whatever pain I inflict on myself worth it.  Besides, I don't think Paula will let me NOT do it. 

Life With a Side of Crazy

Boy, here we are.  Near the end of August.  I'm grabbing a minute to write because I know I won't have much of a chance for the next couple weeks.  The summer is wrapping up with a sprint to the finish.  Here are just the highlights:

~ My boy celebrated a birthday this last weekend.  For accomplishing the amazing feat of surviving for eight years in this family in this world, he was rewarded with copious amounts of Legos, Nerf guns and cash not to mention cake, ice cream sundaes and root beer floats.

~ My husband's 20th year high school class reunion was the same weekend.  For not having gone to the same school and only knowing a handful of folks who did, it was a pretty nice time.  Every one was very friendly and chatty and the food was good.  I was really hungry by the time the food was brought out and let's just say that if I'd been a heavier gal, folks would have been whispering about the amount of food and/or the number of trips I made to the buffet.  In my defense, I had run that morning and hadn't eaten much all day because of trying to get to the reunion on time.  So buffet time came, and I dove in.

~ We're approaching the start of our first year of truly homeschooling.  I was feeling a bit of anxiety about it, considering I had NOT spent the summer gathering curriculum as I intended, but then I ventured into a local store that is chock full of not only homeschool curriculum, but a plethora of teaching aids, workbooks, games, and classroom supplies (i.e. bulletin board stuff!!) and my fears dissolved.  I had to firmly steer myself away from the pretty bulletin board decorations and other classroom wall items into the homeschool section.  And I'm so glad I did.  Within an hour, I had chosen our curriculum for the year and breathed a sigh of relief that it included a Teacher's Manual.  Hallelujah!  I don't have to try to figure out how to explain what a conjunction is, or how to multiply fractions!  The book basically has a script for me!  Needless to say, I feel MUCH better about our upcoming school year.  Not only do I get to buy school supplies (times two actually - some for school, some for home) but I get to buy workbooks and flashcards and pretty things for our walls!  It'll be like playing school!  But for real.    {gulp}     Uh oh.

~Running is going well.  I've been out several times this last week but only for about 3 miles at a whack.  I need to start upping those distances considering the next 1/2 marathon is in about four 1/2 weeks.  I'm definitely not going to be trying to PR this one but I really want to do it.  So I will and we'll see what happens.  Overall, it just feels great to be back out running.  I'm hoping that once the school year starts, I can get back to some kind of regular routine instead of just trying to squeeze in a run when I can.

~ My daughter's 5th birthday is Labor Day weekend.  We're thinking of heading east to the rodeo and to see family.  Although I think if that happens we may come home with pink cowboy boots.  (No, they wouldn't be for me.  Mine would be RED.)

All in all, it's been a full and fun summer.  We've hung out with friends, met some new ones, carried on some traditions, discovered new places and events, and basically just grabbed hold of life and held on for dear life.   And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Crazy suits me.

Waiting to Run

The Seattle Rock 'n Roll Half was over four weeks ago.  The local half is in eight weeks.  I've only run three times since Seattle and every time my IT band hurt.  Not as badly as during the race, and actually a bit less each time, but it still hurt.  The furthest I've run since Seattle is three miles. 

Every day I think about running.  Every day I think I'll give it another try.  Every day I worry about my knee hurting if I do run.  Every day I worry about losing the fitness I've achieved.  Every day I yearn for the freedom I feel when I'm able to just run and run.

But.  I know I'll get there.  I'm not giving up on this running gig.  I'm doing other things to hopefully combat my injury and prevent it from happening again.  I'm working on getting stronger.  My head is still very much in the game; I'm just waiting for my body to catch up.

It's just that patience has never been my strong suit.

Acceptance

I read a great article written by Kristen Armstrong for Runner's World that made me say a big ol' outloud "AMEN!".  Here are the parts that really had me nodding my head in agreement:

"An interesting thought occurred to me about photographs.

Have you ever noticed the way people, particularly women, look back at old photographs of themselves and are wistful? "Oh, I looked so young then!" "Look at my skin!" (*sigh*) "Good grief, I was so skinny! And here I thought I was heavy at the time!" "Awww, look at us, just gorgeous. We had no clue."

No one ever really mentions that just as we had no clue at the time, there might exist the possibility that we have no clue right now. Captured moments of today are the wistfulness of tomorrow. I guarantee that just as we can look back at a photo from ten years ago and appreciate ourselves, ten years from now we will look at a photo from today and think the same damn thing. How come nobody brings this up? Wouldn't this awareness bring us a certain measure of peace?

Can you imagine the liberation if we could just appreciate ourselves right now? Who we are, where we are, what we look like? If we could just look in the mirror long enough for a basic once-over and a smile-wink and be done with it? If we were too content and confident to critique? "

"Savor yourself. Cut yourself some slack. Appreciate your beauty. Wink at yourself in the mirror. Tell your husband he has nice buns. Tell your wife she's hotter than she was yesterday. Tell your children how you see them. Tell your parents thank you. Remind your friends who they are.

After all, ten years from now, right now will be ten years ago. Moments are like fireflies. You are a runner, so go chase them. Cup them carefully in your hands and watch the glow seep through your fingers. Don't miss it."

I so wish that all women could embrace this idea, could appreciate and value themselves as they are.  Society & the media have dictated too damn long what is beautiful or good or perfect, or what size/shape we should be.  Why do we measure ourselves against some unachieveable standard, when that standard is most likely airbrushed and Photoshopped??  Why do we focus on one little perceived flaw and ignore the scads of wonderful things that we are? 

I had the pleasure of yet again running with my friend Paula this weekend and she said something that has stuck with me.  I was pointing out to her something I was a bit self-conscious about and she said to me "Nobody sees it but you, Kate."  After thinking about it I realized that she was right.  If I continue pointing out my "flaws" to people then that is indeed what they will see when they look at me. 

And I don't know about you but that's not something I really want.

Don't Be Hatin'

I have bit my proverbial tongue and not written about this subject but it's really getting ridiculous and it's MY blog and I can write about what I want and if you don't like it, then don't read.  So there.

Since I have embarked on this whole fitness/running adventure, I've lost weight.  Only about 7 lbs, which isn't a huge amount, but I was not heavy to begin with.  More noticeably, I've lost inches.  Several off of my waist, hips, thighs and chest, which apparently appears to make me look like I have lost much more weight than I actually have.

In combination with the exercising, I have been really conscious of what I've been eating.  I'm avoiding all processed foods, eating way more fiber, fruits, veggies and whole grain stuff, and have all but quit drinking. 

On most days, I track what I eat just to make sure I'm getting the balance of nutrients, especially protein.  I am aware that I'm thin and that I don't have alot of "wiggle" room when it comes to weight loss.  I eat even when I'm not hungry because I know I haven't had enough calories.  (Here's a little tidbit:  natural, healthy food doesn't contain as many calories so therefore you can eat more of it.)  I wouldn't say that I obsess about it, but I do try to stay mindful of what I'm eating and try to make good choices.  And I'm not starving myself.

All of my efforts at BEING HEALTHY and the subsequent results are getting noticed.  And not in the way I'd hoped.  I can't tell you the amount of negative attention I'm getting for how my body is changing.  My family is the worst. Apparently because we're related that gives them permission to make snarky, mean comments about how I look.  My favorite being "You're too skinny - you're not even cute skinny".  Oh, and yesterday a co-worker jokingly compared me to a concentration camp victim.  (That felt great, btw.)

Seriously folks.  BACK OFF.  I refuse to take flack for obtaining a body like this through hard work, sweat, a few tears and healthy choices.  Yes, I was born with good genetics but how I look now is a result of my effort.  I am NOT concerned with being skinny or model thin - my reasons for this fitness quest have absolutely zero to do with vanity.  Yes, looking good and more importantly FEELING GOOD are nice biproducts but not my main objective. 

I want to be strong.  I want to look fit.  I want to take care of my health and do all I can to fight the crappy genetics I inherited.  I want to live a long healthy life and stick around to play with my grandchildren.

If you can't deal with the way I look, if you are threatened by it and feel like me being thin gives you the right to cut me down, if you are jealous, if you are so insecure that you can't be supportive and encouraging to a fellow human being, well then maybe you should just walk away. Oh, I may smile and laugh when you say things, but just know that it hurts and I just don't let you know because I'm nice that like.  Making snarky comments about someone being THIN is just as rude and hurtful as making snarky comments about being FAT, yet very few people would be that inconsiderate.
 

Every body is different and responds differently to a healthy diet and exercise.  This is how my body responds.  It doesn't make me a better person than you.

As Thumper's mommy told him, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all."

**********************************

p.s  This post is NOT aimed at anybody in particular.  It's basically just a big vent because I'm fed up.

Catch Up

Well, I guess it's time for my monthly post.  Ha.  Seriously, where has the last month gone? 

In an effort to get ya'll caught up on my riveting life, I'm resorting to that format which allows me to hop gracefully from one nonrelated topic to the next without any kind of meaningful segway, our friend the BULLET.

• I am so excited to be able to report PROGRESS with my attempts at becoming a runner.  Just about 6 weeks ago, I ran an entire mile for the first time in I-don't-know-how-many-years.  It wasn't easy and I really couldn't imagine a time when I'd comfortably run that distance, much less further, but holy moly friends, I AM THERE.  This last weekend, I ran 4.54 miles only stopping twice for a brief minute to drink some water. And even though that is a HUGE accomplishment that I never thought I was capable of, I still have doubts about my ability to go further.  Like, I think I may have reached my max.  But I'll keep trying.
• A fabulous side effect of all this running and eating healthy is the physical changes I'm seeing. I took my measurements about 18 months ago when I started going to the gym and I recently came across those measurements.  I whipped out my measuring tape to see if there'd been any change, not really expecting any major changes, but I think I counted a total of about 9 inches that I've lost!  I'm totally digging the muscles that are popping out in my legs.  A downside is that not many of my pants (or bras) are fitting very well anymore.  Yah, I know...woe is me.  :)
• Work is still rather slow for Josh, although we're hopeful that things will pick up with spring & summer approaching.  He's also applying for other jobs with other companies, but of course, with the economy the way it is, positions are at a premium.  So for now, I do alot of praying and try to have faith that it will all be okay.  But boy am I tired of barely hanging on.
• There are potentially some big changes on the horizon for us as a family.  Sam has really been struggling in school the last few months.  Issues that we dealt with the last half of last year are resurfacing, as well as new ones.  Academically, he's fine.  He scores at or above grade level in everything, yet he hates school.  Most mornings are a fight to get him ready and out the door, often involving tears and such a level of frustration on his part that it breaks my heart.  He struggles to pay attention, he struggles to stay focused on work, he struggles to sit still, he struggles to ignore his classmates bad behavior and language. We've seen his confidence in himself and his abilities go down, we've seen his attitude change, we've heard him using language we don't use at home, we've seen him lash out in frustration.  This whole situation is KILLING me so much that it's no wonder I suspect I have an ulcer.  I hate, hate, HATE that my sweet boy is having such a hard time; a boy that is SO quick-minded, so naturally curious, so sensitive.  He is learning to hate school because of external influences and expectations and I'm not sure we can allow that to happen much longer. 
• Yes, I think I have an ulcer.  I have a constant, gnawing pain in my stomach, which occasionally gives me chest pain. I feel hungry, bloated, and achy most of the time, yet when I eat it doesn't help.  I don't have much of an appetite and I'm constantly burping.  Pleasant, huh?  I had an ulcer back when I was 25 and remember feeling much the same way.  It was diagnosed with a blood test and I ended up taking 18 pills a day for two weeks. So I need to have that blood test again.  Which means I need to go to the doctor.  Which I hate doing. 
• I'm doing my very first 5k run in April.  It seems a little backwards to finally get around to doing a 5k considering I've completed two half marathons, but I WALKED those and intend on RUNNING this 5k.  So maybe it's not backwards at all.  I'm just starting out as a runner, so I guess a 5k is a good place to start.  And it's for a great cause:  the proceeds benefit the Behind the Badge Foundation, an organization that supports law enforcement and their families. 

Well, I guess that about sums it up.  Life is very full and busy these days, and probably will get more so with some upcoming changes, but what's a girl to do?

Ups and Downs

I certainly am not turning this into a blog solely about running, but for now it's what I'm working on, so for now it's what I'm writing about.

I headed back to the gym on Tuesday and hit the treadmill, still riding the high from Saturday's run.  I quickly snapped out of it and realized it was a WAY different day and I was not feeling great.  I almost immediately developed a stitch in my side that I couldn't get rid of, I was swaying all over the place, banging into the sides and front of the treadmill, and breathing kinda hard early on.  I tried my hardest to just run through it all, but it became evident with every passing minute that I wasn't going to be able to run like I did on Saturday.  I seem to remember wanting desperately to stop after only 10 minutes but I kept mentally yelling at myself and pushed on until I'd been going for 19 minutes. I really wanted to hit that 20 minute mark but I simply couldn't go another minute and slowed to walking at 19.   I was hugely disappointed and started to think maybe Saturday was a fluke.

Today I again hit the treadmill and really just went with the mentality of doing what I could, trying to forget Tuesday's poor performance.  Last night when I was vacuuming, I rammed my 3rd toe on my left foot with the vacuum and kinda bent back the nail, making it bleed. So I wasn't sure how running on it would feel.  And on the way to the gym I discovered a hole in my sock on my right foot, right under a toe.  And I'm pretty sure I need new shoes. So my feet were not happy to start with.  (I have very fussy feet and have since I was a little girl. They're very sensitive. Or something.)

I did my usual 10 minute brisk walk and then upped the speed to 4.8mph and started to jog.  My first goal was to do a mile...about 12.5 minutes at that pace.   On Tuesday I had started out at 5mph and I wondered if just that little bit of extra pace did me in.  So I figured I'd start off nice and easy today.  My legs felt great, no burning or pain, expect just a little discomfort in my right foot, probably from my shoes.  The 12.5 minutes flew by and I kept going.  I finally stopped at 30 minutes because my mouth felt like the Sahara desert and I needed a drink.  So I took a 3 minute walk break, slurped down some water, then upped the speed to 5mph and went another 12 minutes.  The last couple minutes were challenging - I was breathing harder and had a side stitch - but I powered on, feeling again a great sense of accomplishment.  When I slowed to a brisk walk, I felt like I was floating and the side pain went away.  It was great. 

I think on Tuesday I should've started at the slower speed.  I really am not concerned with my speed right now.  I just want to be able to run continuously for a good period of time.  The speed will come.  For now, I'm working on my endurance.  So, lesson learned:  run slower for now.  Also, I ate a banana on my way to the gym on Tuesday and I think it contributed to the side pain.  Today I drank a glass of Odwalla Superfood (aka "pond scum") and didn't have the side pain until the very end.  So, lesson #2:  don't eat much before trying to run.

Becoming a runner is a learning process, as well as a physical process.  But progress is being made on both fronts.  And I can't tell you how cool it is.

Crossing Over to Belief

Over the last few months, I've read articles here and there about running, training to run, technique, etc. all in an effort to figure out how to go about becoming a runner.  As multiple places have suggested, one should start off doing intervals - run for a bit, then walk for a bit - gradually increasing the amount you run and decreasing the amount you walk.  So I've been doing that. But I'm impatient and competitive and I probably haven't done enough of it.

Another thing I've read is that you should do two short to average runs during the week and then a longer one on the weekend.  I haven't done that as much because I haven't really gotten to the point of actually running much yet.

Or so I thought.

Yesterday, I headed into town to the Y, planning on doing more intervals on the treadmill.  I picked my treadmill in front of a big window, looking down on the street where I could watch the traffic and people strolling around town on a Saturday morning.  To my left was a gal that was full-on running, around 8.0 mph.  Wow.  She looked so smooth and just kept running and running...

I started off walking, working up to my quick walking pace (between 4.0 - 4.3 mph).  I figured I'd do a 10 minute warm up and then do a 12 minute mile.  I started out jogging and felt pretty good.  As I was nearing the 12 minute mark, I thought "I'll try to go about 18-20 minutes".  So I forged on. 

About that time a girl got on a treadmill to my right and started walking.  After a few minutes she started doing some intervals, jogging for a bit, then walking.  I was silently cheering her on, recognizing what she was doing.

Before I knew it my 20 minute goal had come and gone and I was feeling no pain.  My legs felt strong and solid and I was in a good rhythm. I had previously been jogging at 4.8mph but wondered how I'd do if I upped it a bit.  So I increased it to 5.0.  And it didn't really make much difference.   My main challenge all along was my breathing. I have a tendency to concentrate on my breathing too much instead of just letting my body breathe when it needs to.  So instead I focus on my music, singing in my head, and try to just forget about regulating my breathing. 

All along I kept expecting to "hit the wall" any minute. I couldn't believe I was cruising along, actually RUNNING (albeit slowly) for longer than a few minutes.  I dare say I felt a bit of that "runner's high" you hear people refer to, and MAN it felt good. 

I started philosophizing and realized that I was in a bit of a metaphorical situation.  On my left was the fast runner-girl, obviously with all kinds of endurance and strength, and on my right was the girl trying to train her body to run, pushing herself a bit at a time.  And I was in between them, literally and figuratively.  Not too long ago I was that girl just starting to train her body to run.  And I dream of being the runner that can just go and go.

I ran for 40 minutes straight, managing to go a bit under 3.5 miles without stopping. I'm not going to win any races at that pace, but I'm not worried about speed right now. I'm just going to cling to the knowledge that I AM capable of it and use it to build on.

Yesterday showed me that, for now, I'm solidly in between those two girls.  When I realized that I was crossing over into actual "I'm a runner" territory, I felt myself fill with a huge feeling of accomplishment and pride.  I suddenly was running with my head held higher and a bit of a grin on my face.  I'll admit, I even had to stem the sudden sting of tears that threatened.  I was just so damn proud of myself and surprised that somehow I had managed to teach this old body to RUN. 

At this rate, I'm starting to believe I may actually get to cross off one of the goals I set for myself in 2010.

True Story Tuesday - Blech Edition

Yesterday I strayed from my healthy eating plan, back to my old ways.  Zoe and I had to return something at the mall and she was hungry so we shared a personal size cheese pizza and breadsticks at Target.  I barely made it home, I was suddenly SOOOO sleepy while driving.  I came home, crashed on the bed and zonked out. 

True story.

For dinner, I made shredded chicken tacos and only had two.  And I felt like I'd eaten a horse.  I ached like a bloated cow.

True story.

I decided a beer sounded good with dinner so I indulged in one.  It tasted wonderful but I was left with a headache and feeling mildly queasy.

True story.

I don't think I'll be eating two meals like that again in the same day.  I felt horrible!  Even though I didn't eat a large quantity, it was the quality of the stuff that really did me in.  Ugh.  I don't think I'll be doing that again anytime soon.

True story.

Chasing Pavements

I'm happy to report that I've been pretty consistent with my workouts the last few weeks.  With the weather being nasty and cold, I go to the gym on the mornings that Zoe has preschool (which is Tues/Thurs).  Then I try to sneak a workout in on the weekend.  With the addition of modifying my eating and really keeping track of what I put in my mouth, I am feeling GOOD.  The scale has remained steady at a number that makes me happy and yet I don't feel like I'm heading into "scary thin" territory.  With the workouts I've been doing, I've been consciously making an effort to eat enough protein, cut my carb intake down a little, increase the fiber and calcium and keep taking my vitamins.  I've recently added fish oil to my vitamin repertoire after doing a bunch of reading on the benefits of it.  And considering we aren't big seafood eaters, and the fact that I don't care for salmon, I need to get my Omega 3s somehow.  I've even started giving it to the kids in liquid form. But that's another post.

The last week or so the weather has been surprisingly spring-like.  While California is getting hammered with storms and tornado warnings, those of us in the Seattle area have had lovely days with temperatures in the 50's.  I'm not sure it's going to last much longer, but I've sure been enjoying it.  I even caught myself starting to think about my flowerbeds and garden and thinking "I need to get started figuring those out!" and then I caught myself and remembered it's still January.  Duh.

Craving a little fresh air and wanting to test myself a bit, I headed out for a walk/run on Thursday.  I've been doing some intervals on the treadmill at the gym but wanted to see how actually pounding the pavement felt.  So I headed out, warmed up by walking the first 3/4 mile then actually managed to run the next mile!  Without stopping!  And there weren't even any rabid dogs chasing me!!  Go me!  (And by "run" I mean that geriatric amputees could have passed me.) Even more impressive was that I managed to make it up a decent hill I encountered without having to stop to hork up a lung.  After that, there were two baby hills that I showed who was boss then it was flat to the mile marker.  I walked the mile back, then ran the 3/4 mile home.  And then I collapsed and died and my 4 year old did CPR and revived me. 

Then on Saturday my friend Paula came out to run with me.  She has been a great encouragement and motivator in my desire and attempt to become a runner.  I took her on the same route that I went on Thursday but we went even further.  I was able to run that same mile, up the hills and everything, even though Paula did kind of smoke me on the uphills.  It's okay.  I know I'm just starting out and it's not a race.  Yet.  :)   She gave me all kinds of pointers and tips, although I'm not sure I really was able to put any of them into practice mid-run, what with not being able to feel my legs and all.  We completed about 5 miles, running probably at least half of that.  I came home tired (and ravenous), but feeling proud of my effort.  I have to confess, it was my first time running with someone.  EVER.  I probably didn't give Paula much of a workout, but her company was certainly appreciated and enjoyed.  I hope she'll run with me again. 

It feels good to be challenging myself this way.  I like focusing on my health and my fitness.  I've always loved physical challenges and pushing myself to see what I'm capable of.  I grew up being very active, played sports all through high school and played softball and soccer in my early to mid-20's.  Now that my kids are a bit older & independent, I'm hungry for those challenges again and the sheer fun of it.  And I'm trying to set a good example for them by living healthily and taking care of myself.  They and their daddy are, afterall, my main reason for living.

Monday Hodgepodge

It's Monday again.  This week, it's a good thing as it means a couple days off after working all weekend.   But a day off after working the last three means lots of catching up, laundry, cooking, cleaning and doing all the things that didn't get done.  So forgive me, but I'm resorting to a bulleted post because otherwise this post would be very random.

~When the calendar turned over to a new year, I renewed my dedication to better eating.  I figured if I'm going to be busting my behind trying to get in shape, the least I could do was not sabotage my efforts by rewarding myself with french fries every time I walked further than the bathroom.   So I've revamped my diet and have been keeping track of what I'm eating with this cool site.  For me, journaling what goes in my mouth keeps me aware of where I need to improve and helps me track important nutrients, like fiber and calcium.   I'm happy to report that in the last 10 days or so of doing this, my scale tells me I'm down 6 lbs.  My goal isn't to lose weight per se, just to make better choices and give my body better, healthier stuff in order to get the most out of my workouts.  Apparently, my body likes this and is rewarding me, which is okay with me.

~One of my goals for the year was to find a babysitter and I'm happy to report that I think I can cross that one of my list.  One of the mom's in Zoe's preschool class has a teenage daughter, and it occurred to me that maybe she would be interested in babysitting. So I talked to the mom who said that J, the daughter, had been asking her if she knew anyone who needed a babysitter.  I think it'll work out perfect: J has two little sisters of her own so is used to dealing with younger kids, she only lives about 6-7 minutes away, she's technically still in high school but is doing Running Start and has lots of free time.  She's going to come over this week to meet the kids, see where we live and get the lowdown and hopefully we can put her to work soon.  Date nights, coming up!

~Last Wednesday my puppy, Tessa, ran off to the neighbor's cow pasture and didn't come home.  I last saw her at about 3pm and both Hubby and I spent the evening looking for her, calling her, asking the neighbor's if they'd seen her, driving up and down the road, but to no avail.  To say I was upset, well...that would be an understatement.  I woke up at 5am with a crying hangover after a fitful attempt at sleep.  When Josh and my dad headed out to work that morning, he spotted Tess over in the same pasture where I'd last seen her and went over and got her.  I think she was actually stuck in the pasture and couldn't figure out how to get back to where she got in.  I was SO thankful to have her home again. Even though we've only had her about 6 months, I've gotten very attached to her and not having her underfoot felt like a member of the family was missing. 

~ I had a lovely day with my friend Paula last week and I think she's going to help me with my running.  Having done several marathons herself, and striving to do a 50k (which, uh, is like 31 miles), she assured me I could easily run a half.  Well, I'm not sure it'll be easy but it helps to have someone who's "been there, done that" on my team, who can help me train the right way.  I think she's going to be a bit of a taskmaster if/when I run with her, but it's probably what I need. 

And with that, it's time to work on another one of my goals:  less computer time. 

Bye!

Training Again

After doing my first half marathon in June, I decided Heck, I could do that again!   Apparently, walking 13.1 miles is kind of like childbirth:  you forget the painful parts and only remember the reward.  So naturally I immediately committed to doing another one.  Which is in 10 days.

I'm excited about doing it, especially since it's in my city and I can come home and pass out on my couch celebrate immediately afterwards.  Oh! And maybe I'll even have someone waiting for me, cheering me on, at the finish line!  I'm hurriedly trying to get my legs and feet back accustomed to the torture task of going 13.1 miles, since after the June race I spent a month hobbling around, babying a sprained ankle.  And then summer, kids, camping, blah blah blah got in the way and, long story short, I haven't been as dedicated to my training as I should have been.  So I guess I'll just plan to spend much of October hobbling around, babying my sprained/broken/abused {insert body part here}.

Do I know how to have fun or what??

13.1

At the start, waiting to go...

At the finish, feelin' proud...

My hard-earned medal...

I did it.

I did it faster than I hoped, I ran more than I thought possible, I pushed myself harder than I've ever pushed myself. And I've seriously never been prouder of myself.

I can't wait to do it again.

*******************************************

I can't post this without giving a shout out to my training partner and pal, Heather. I'm so incredibly impressed and proud of you, Heather. You are made of the toughest and most determined stuff and I'm so glad we did this together.