I've just been uninspired and stressed out. I haven't felt like I've had anything worth reading to write honestly. I mean, I hear other blog authors say this very same thing and then somehow they write a whole post that I end up devouring because it's witty and entertaining. And while I can't pinpoint any particular theme or thought-pattern, it doesn't seem to matter. I'm not sure I'm capable of that kind of verbosity.
Things are progressing with the house. They started the foundation on Tuesday and should have it done by the end of the week. I spent an hour or so yesterday at the courthouse trying to get some papers filed and some tax stuff taken care of. Zoë was somewhat tolerant of the process, albeit not exceptionally quiet. Her tiny little voice was only amplified by the tomb-like silence of the office we were in. I temporarily placated her with a sucker from the secret stash in my purse (totally for the kids, not me - I swear), then some paper and a pen where she informed me she was doing "decowations, Mom". I wasn't able to get everything taken care of so today we get to go back and do it all again. Oh joy.
I've come to the painful conclusion and realization that I'm going to have to work a bit more in order to afford this house. It's been my biggest fear all along, but now that we're actively handing out money like Hickory Farms free samples at Christmas, the rate at which the money is coming in needs to be stepped up. I'm hoping that by being proactive and not waiting until the bank is threatening us that maybe it'll be easier. I'm only planning on adding one day a pay period, and it still needs to be approved by my manager, so nothing is set in stone at this point. But I am resigned to the fact that it's going to need to happen. And I'm just praying that it will be enough.
I had a small breakdown about it the other day, which is quite out of character for me. The dam ended up bursting right before I was headed to work, which resulted in red puffy eyes and fuzzy contacts, which then led all my co-workers to inquire if I was okay, which then sent me scurrying to the bathroom to ward off the tears again. SO unlike me. And horrifying. Anyway, I finally laid bare my soul to my hubby about my mounting fears about the project and it's financial ramifications on our daily lives. I managed to pour out how I already feel stretched by working the amount that I do, that I still have to do everything else around the house even though I'm working more than I ever have since having my babies, and that I just was generally terrified.
The result? I don't feel like such a pressure-cooker of emotion, my hubby got the chance to console and reassure me (something that doesn't happen very often - I'm too stubborn) AND he said I just need to tell him what needs to be done around the house and he'll do it. I think it was kind of a wakeup call to him that I'm really NOT SuperWoman, even though that's certainly an image and perception I like to encourage. I don't readily or easily ask for help, but if we're going to make it thru this with my sanity in tact, I've got to learn how.
In other news, Sam's last day of kindergarten is tomorrow. This year has flown by and frankly, I'm sad to see it end. I'm looking forward to having him home with me and all the summer fun we have planned, but it's just another reminder of how rapidly the time is passing and how quickly he is growing up. We've had such a positive experience at his school and I just adore his teacher so I'm sad to have the year end. Our new house is in a different school district so next year will mean not only a new teacher, but a new school. I am totally confident that Sam will do fine - he is such an outgoing, friendly, confident kid that I know he'll fit right in.
Speaking of the end of the year, I want to find a gift for his teacher. I'd like something she can keep and remember Sam by, not just a gift card or something. I'm thinking a nice vase with flowers in it (she loves flowers). What do you think? Do you do anything for your kids' teachers at year-end?
Have a great day everyone! Send some sunshine my way - it'd go a long way towards improving my mood, I'm sure.
2 comments:
Everything will work out...have faith.
I usually give a plant to the teachers as flowers will just die...or maybe give them a flower they can plant outside so it doesn't die?
UGH. If only I had sunshine to send. This weather is really starting to annoy me.
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