"...And a little child will lead them."

I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. They are both tears of sadness and of pride.

A few minutes ago, my sweet Sam came out of my bedroom where he had been snuggled up, watching a cartoon before bed. He came out to the living room where his daddy & I were, with tears in his eyes and on his cheeks. Apparently, the ASPCA commercial with Sarah McLachlan had come on. And it broke my tender-hearted son's tender little heart. He sobbed in my arms for several minutes, pleading repeatedly that "I want to call that number!"

I cry because I am so proud of his sweet little heart, and that he has the ability to sympathize with creatures smaller than himself. That he recognizes unfairness and cruelty. And I cry because he's been shown some of the ugliness in our world and that a small piece of his innocence and naivety is gone, and that makes me sad.

I struggle to comprehend cruelty in general, but animal cruelty whips my emotions up to a whole new level. I've had pets my entire life, with the exception of about 18 months, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. And they are not merely animals that live in my house - they are furry family members and are treated and loved as such. So how am I to explain to a five and a half year old little boy why some animals are abused, or starved, or dumped, or killed when I don't understand it myself??

So I simply held him, let him cry, and did my best to reassure him that lots of people work very hard to try to protect animals, to care for them, to find them homes and good shelters, and that we would do what we could to help, and say our prayers that God would watch over them all.

It is SO hard sometimes, being the mama.

Time Out

Life is overwhelming me at the moment - which doesn't happen very often, thankfully - so for now I am unable to organize my thoughts enough to share them with you. Hopefully tomorrow when I don't have to work and I have the entire day to create an entertaining post, I'll be able to do so and tell you about the following:

1. Our weekend in Seattle and how I managed to pack on 4 lbs in 2 days!
2. My impending trip to Southern California to finally meet my cousin's quadrulets!
3. My little panic attack about flying and being away from my children for 6 days!
4. The latest progress on our house-building and the rapid rate at which money is flying out of our bank account!
5. My crazy-long To Do list that is screaming for my attention, which I really want to just ignore and do this:

Sleepless in Seattle

In honor of our upcoming 7th wedding anniversary (the 19th), hubby & I are headed to the Big City for the weekend. The kiddos are going to Grandma's and we're going to have ourselves some kidless time. I think our 5th anniversary was the last time we had a weekend to ourselves. And that was only one night. And the train went by, right under our window, multiple times that night. Needless to say, it wasn't a restful night. I think I would have gotten more sleep at home with my still-nursing-repeatedly-at-night 8-month old baby.

This time around, however, there is no train. (I don't think.) And I will make sure to consume just enough cocktails to ensure a sound slumber. Of course, hubby will be consuming too, which will lead to even sounder slumber (aka LOUDER snoring) on his part, so maybe I better ramp up my consumption in an effort to ensure my own slumbering success. (Note to self: Pack the Excedrin.)

Here's to a Happy Mother's Day (hopefully not hungover like a goat - it doesn't take much these days)!

A Helping Hand

It's Wordless Wednesday!

Visions of Summer

With the advent of slightly warmer temperatures and the rapidly approaching end of the school year, my thoughts have turned to summer. I've started making a mental list of all the things I want to do. I live for the summers when the kids and I can be on the go and out of the house. We have our standard activities that we do every year: a trip to the zoo, berry picking, the annual campout of folks I grew up with, 4th of July BBQs, and multiple trips to the local Fair.

My main partner-in-crime, Brooke, is as much a go-er and do-er as I am so over the last couple years we've had lot of adventures together and are already cooking up more for this summer. We are more than ready for some hot, sunny weather and the freedom from school schedules. (We both have been languishing miserably thru this long, cold winter we've been subjected to.)

And this summer our youngest kids, who are only 3 weeks apart in age, will be almost three years old and much more manageable when it comes to our outings. We've been looking forward to this particular summer since they were babies, knowing they would be at the age where they were more independent and easier to drag around. And, like every summer, we'll look forward to "next summer" when they'll be a year older and even more fun. But for now, we'll start dreaming of our lazy days at the lake, picnics at the park, camping adventures and whatever else strikes our fancy.

What are your plans or favorite activities for the summer?

Flashback Friday - May 2004

Every Friday of late I retrieve the CDs with our old pictures from the safe, and then spend entirely too long, browsing thru them, reminiscing and trying to decide which to post. While I'm grateful to have so many pictures to look back on, it's bittersweet to see how much my babies have grown and changed.

Sam was almost 21 months here and my little shadow. We spent all our time together, frequenting the library and the park, playing in the yard, and generally just creating our own fun. We didn't have any stay-at-home-mom friends, and we hadn't yet entered the world of playdates and group activities, but we didn't really mind. We stayed plenty busy and were content to hang out together.

He's always been my little buddy, and I hope that never changes.

May Day

Happy May Day! Good grief, where has this year gone? Somedays I feel like I've missed entire months and then I realize I feel that way because my brain has been suffering from some wierd kind of prolonged hypothermia due to our incessant cold weather. Maybe the fact that I'm more cognizant of the months passing means that we're starting to thaw out up here in the Artic. Lord, I hope so.

I was excited to hear the weatherman share the little lie tidbit that the weather was supposed to be almost 60° here today. And even though I didn't believe him, the thought was enough to tempt me into action and I hustled the kids into their clothes and shoes, grabbed some jackets, snacks and my camera, and we headed to the park for a bit before school. My hope was for a two-fold reward: 1) tire Zoë out so she would nap today at the normal napping time instead of 5:00pm, a time when I certainly can't let her sleep for long yet waking her is like setting a hornets' nest on fire, and 2) burn off some of Sam's endless supply of energy so that he will be better able to focus during school instead of sending him to school "fully loaded".

Being stuck indoors with small children all winter is enough to drive me batty but I can't imagine what it must have been like for people who REALLY were stuck indoors with small children.

(Cue segue music...)

If you look at my book list, you'll see a bunch of books by the same author, Lauraine Snelling. The books are a fictional series about a family of Norwegian settlers that came to America in order to homestead land in the Dakota Territories in the late 1800's. I have somewhat of a passion for and fascination with that time period and setting. I realize that the fictional accounts of life as a covered-wagon homesteader are just that, but it makes me think about the trials and hardships they had to endure. I've also read some non-fiction on the subject and let me tell ya, it was harder than you can even imagine. Scary hard. Kill-you-dead-by-40 hard.

While I secretly yearn for that kind of simple life, I appreciate that my idealistic vision of it is seen through the rose-colored glass of my modern-day life. It's easy to want the pride and satisfaction of growing and tending your own garden, for instance. But it's impossible to know the desperation and NEED with which those pioneers did so. After all, the success of my garden is not a matter of life or starvation. If the bugs destroy my garden, if I don't keep up with the weeding, or it doesn't rain, I have alternatives: go to the grocery store, set a sprinkler. It's easy to lament being stuck indoors because of rain or snow, but I have a wealth of distractions (blogs, anyone?) and physical comforts to ease my wait for warmth. Those pioneers existed in sod houses with maybe one tiny window. And from the accounts that I've read, they were really not that big. Maybe 15x15? Try living in your bedroom. With your kids. And maybe another family. And it's your kitchen too. And one tiny window, a blizzard that lasts for days, with no running water or electricity.

I just can't imagine, nor do I truly want to. One image that has stuck in my mind was a description of the sod houses that people lived in until they could get a wood house built. (Incidentally, the non-fiction book I keep referring to is Pioneer Women by Joanna Stratton. It is a collection of journal entries by women settlers in Kansas.) This particular pioneer was voicing her frustration with keeping the sod house somewhat clean and tidy because chunks of dirt and SNAKES constantly would fall from the ceiling, sometimes ON THEM while they were sleeping. %*&!#@!! Let me just say, the first time that happened would have found me packing my pansy ass up and returning to whatever foreign land I'd come from. I.DO.NOT.LIKE.SNAKES.

And don't even get me started on the grief they had to endure from losing multiple children and/or spouses to illnesses, accidents, etc. They would've had to put me in the ground too.

I guess it's the things I've learned about those early settlers that make me sincerely grateful for what I have. Things like changes of clothing. Toilet paper. My washing machine. Seriously. Even though I have no love for laundry, I thank God I have clothes to wash and a machine to do it. And no snakes in my hair. (shudder)