Acceptance

I read a great article written by Kristen Armstrong for Runner's World that made me say a big ol' outloud "AMEN!".  Here are the parts that really had me nodding my head in agreement:

"An interesting thought occurred to me about photographs.

Have you ever noticed the way people, particularly women, look back at old photographs of themselves and are wistful? "Oh, I looked so young then!" "Look at my skin!" (*sigh*) "Good grief, I was so skinny! And here I thought I was heavy at the time!" "Awww, look at us, just gorgeous. We had no clue."

No one ever really mentions that just as we had no clue at the time, there might exist the possibility that we have no clue right now. Captured moments of today are the wistfulness of tomorrow. I guarantee that just as we can look back at a photo from ten years ago and appreciate ourselves, ten years from now we will look at a photo from today and think the same damn thing. How come nobody brings this up? Wouldn't this awareness bring us a certain measure of peace?

Can you imagine the liberation if we could just appreciate ourselves right now? Who we are, where we are, what we look like? If we could just look in the mirror long enough for a basic once-over and a smile-wink and be done with it? If we were too content and confident to critique? "

"Savor yourself. Cut yourself some slack. Appreciate your beauty. Wink at yourself in the mirror. Tell your husband he has nice buns. Tell your wife she's hotter than she was yesterday. Tell your children how you see them. Tell your parents thank you. Remind your friends who they are.

After all, ten years from now, right now will be ten years ago. Moments are like fireflies. You are a runner, so go chase them. Cup them carefully in your hands and watch the glow seep through your fingers. Don't miss it."

I so wish that all women could embrace this idea, could appreciate and value themselves as they are.  Society & the media have dictated too damn long what is beautiful or good or perfect, or what size/shape we should be.  Why do we measure ourselves against some unachieveable standard, when that standard is most likely airbrushed and Photoshopped??  Why do we focus on one little perceived flaw and ignore the scads of wonderful things that we are? 

I had the pleasure of yet again running with my friend Paula this weekend and she said something that has stuck with me.  I was pointing out to her something I was a bit self-conscious about and she said to me "Nobody sees it but you, Kate."  After thinking about it I realized that she was right.  If I continue pointing out my "flaws" to people then that is indeed what they will see when they look at me. 

And I don't know about you but that's not something I really want.

Addiction

I cleaned off my nightstand the other day and realized I have a problem.  I have been stashing all these books on the bottom shelf as I get them, adding them to my growing "To Read" list.  It wasn't until I pulled them all out and dusted things off that I realized that I had TWENTY FOUR books stacked up! 

I've put myself on Book Restriction and I'm not allowed to browse the internet for Books I Want anymore. 

Or at least until I get thru some of these ones.

Life Lessons

I learned how to be independent and self-reliant from my mom.
Because she was too wrapped up in her pain and making life appear perfect to nurture or encourage me.

I learned how to shrug off the teasing and name-calling.
Because hurt feelings and tears garnered me no sympathy.

I learned how to stand up on my own two feet, make my way and fix my own problems.
Because I had no shoulder to cry on, no safe place to fall.

I learned to put on a happy face, even when my heart was breaking.
Because appearances are more important than truth.

I learned to make people laugh.
Because their laughter was a reward and validation of my existence.

I learned at a young age I wanted to be physically strong and capable and tough.
Because I was once little and helpless and was violated.

I learned how to be proud of myself.
Because I never heard "I'm proud of you."